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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 4/20/2010 Posts: 1,749 Location: Somerset
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 8/25/2010 Posts: 1,289 Location: Buckinghamshire
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hi Rose,
was wondering how you were, crikey that's a long wait till next appointment, considering you're still in "limbo" so to speak.
are you still managing to go to work through all this with the pain and fatigue.?
i hope when the appointment arrives you do get some answers, you've waited soooo long now it just doesn't seem fair that you are continuing to suffer.
i often think wonder how Rose is doing today, just wish i had a magic wand to wave over you in Somerset,
take care,
love Suzanne x
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 4/20/2010 Posts: 1,749 Location: Somerset
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Hello Suzanne,
Thank you for your thoughts and kind words. Yes managing my 12 hours (note much I know) but I must say
it is enough. Yesterday though I had a recorded counselling because I am not 'selling' what I should be selling,
so have been set a development plan. Oh it was HORRID, I feel useless, helpless and very sad. I was the
Manager in the Branch and was for 25+ years, so I felt disappointed that I had to have it put in writing that I
must improve. I put every effort into my job, and I do cross sell to the best of my ability . Do they want
rid of me ? Oh I don't know, I cried soo much yesterday and feel moody with myself today. Off to bed now
and I am going to wake up tomorrow keen, with 'I'll show them attitude. - Well thats the attention.
Sorry for moaning....
Rose x
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 1/29/2010 Posts: 264
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Oh Rose, so sorry to hear this, but you are good at your job, you must be to have been a manager for 25 years, its just the RA thats making everything so much harder to achieve, but you are right if you can muster the go get 'em then go for it. Alternatively are you able to take some time off until the rheumy manages to achieve a better control of the RA?
I hope things look brighter in the morning.
Best wishes
Sheila
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 8/25/2010 Posts: 1,289 Location: Buckinghamshire
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oh Rose,
it's so tough to surivive in the work place these days isn't it ( although fortunately i'm not in that position now, to be honest i wouldn't be able to cope )
this is bound to get to you while you are struggling with your RA and Meds,
to have to show that you have to improve is soul destroying .. it's no good saying keep your chin up and head held high with all this pressure, be kind to yourself.
thinking of you,
Suzanne x
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 4/20/2010 Posts: 1,749 Location: Somerset
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Thank you for kindness Shiela and Suzanne.
Got through today ok, but I know I was ultra sensitive today. In next on Saturday and this can be
a very busy day, I just hope it will be good for my 'sales'.
Rose x
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009
Posts: 2,127
Location: Thornton Cleveleys
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Oh Rose, this is such a rubbish way to be treated and I feel for you having to persevere against such difficulties and without even a proper diagnosis. No wonder it left you feeling so deflated and upset. Glad to hear you made it through today, relatively unscathed, and wish you every bit of success when it comes to selling those policies on Saturday. Like Suzanne, I wouldn't be able to cope either, so good for you for hanging in there with the best of intentions. I'd have told 'em to stick it by now  Mind you, I was ill health retired at the age of 33 and didn't get any say in the matter; I guess things have changed for the better generally but there's always going to be exceptions. Take care my friend and don't let them get to you  Lyn x
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 9/3/2011 Posts: 717 Location: Torbay
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Dear Rose
I don't know why I haven't noticed this blog before. I think it's because it's at the bottom of the page (or I can blame RA brain fog). I have just read through it all start to finish though and I am amazed at your strength and courage. I know you'll probably say that you don't feel strong and brave but I think the way you have kept fighting and trying and being positive even when you are in pain, scared and tired and being discouraged by the work situation is admirable. I know how hard it can be to keep trying to go into work ( I'm hanging on by a thread) especially when you have to take a step down a bit and can't manage the hours or tasks that you did before. I am in the same boat so I do understand this. I'm also very inspired at the way you are really giving your new drug a good go even when you're not sure it's working. I find this hard and get really frustrated too. Keep fighting. I'll be checking in to your blog regularly now that I've found it. It really helps me to read other people's accounts of what they're going through......so thank you for sharing your experiences. Best wishes from Naomi.
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 4/20/2010 Posts: 1,749 Location: Somerset
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Thank your NAOMI for your lovely post.
Work - still so so. I have got a few more sales but personally am not making my targets for
the money I am taking.
Stiffness - still quite good from my steriod injection. However pain is there and I am still
sufferring from fatigue. So keeping taking my tablets.
On Monday my left gave way carrying a mug of tea, fell down on to my wood floor against
the book case. Stunned for few seconds. So I am sufferring with sore left side bruised
shoulder and arm and jarred my left foot and hand/wrist. (not as bad as you Lynn , but bad
enough)
i have got a horrid cough with 'nastiness' again, and kept me up last night. I came downstairs
at 1am and did not go up again.
Hope the Spring weather continues as that does cheer us all up. I love Spring flowers and
have lovely daff down lillies . . on my dining table and they are great.
Rose x
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 6/18/2010 Posts: 351 Location: Herne Bay Kent
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Hi Rose
So sorry to hear that you had a fall, you really could have done without that! It really knocks ones confidence when something suddenly gives way. Also really hope that your cough clears up quickly without having to resort to lots of antibiotics.
Do you not have an Occupational Therapist that you could talk to about the pressures at work? Sadly not many people understand the extent of the problems associated with this horrid disease.
I am pleased that you are enjoying this lovely weather though, it certainly lifts our spirits. We were down in Somerset at the weekend visiting our daughter and we visited Stourhead which was truly stunning.
Do hope you have some positive outcomes soon.
Best Wishes
Sue
x
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 3,157 Location: Huddersfield
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Hi Rose,
Sorry to hear about your fall, and the way you have been treated at work is dreadful!
I really hope things start to improve for you soon.
Get lots of rest now to nurse those bruises!
Love, Doreen xx
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 8/25/2010 Posts: 1,289 Location: Buckinghamshire
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hi Rose,
so sorry to hear you've had a fall, that would shake anybody up.
agree with Doreen i think you're being treated very unkindly at work .. i really hope things improve soon for you Rose on all fronts,
you're a real trooper to carry on,
take care,
Suzanne x
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009
Posts: 2,127
Location: Thornton Cleveleys
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Oh no, Rose! As if you haven't got enough to deal with at the moment without cleaning the floor and nearby furniture with tea! That will really have shaken you up hope you are starting to feel a little better and the bruising isn't too bad. Have you generously dolloped Arnica all over the bruises? I find it works really well. The problem with my wrist has only come about two months after the incident ... thought it was just one of those things that would get better with time, as you do! Please make sure anything suspect gets looked at by a doctor sooner rather than later. Just a thought, but have you phoned NRAS about the situation at work? They might be able to offer you some suitable advice for dealing with things. The anxiety they are putting you under along with the uncertain diagnosis really isn't going to be helping you at all. Take care Rose. Fancy doing a double act?  Lyn xx
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 9/3/2011 Posts: 717 Location: Torbay
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Oh, I am so sorry about your recent fall. I hope it hasn't dented your confidence and I hope the bruises are fading. I agree with what the others said about the way you are being treated at work. So sorry.....life just isn't fair sometimes. Sending a hug and best wishes from Naomi.
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 2/18/2010 Posts: 1,098 Location: farningham kent
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Hi Rose I didn t pick up on your post the other week about your nasty fall , hope you got over it ok. Just wondering how things are going with your treatment, have you seen your nurse about considering another biologic ? if I remember rightly the rtx. hadn t prove successful ? Julia xx
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 4/20/2010 Posts: 1,749 Location: Somerset
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Hello Julia and All,
An update from little ol me.
Stiffness still quite good but I am afraid the pain in both elbows have come back and sharp pains again
almost anywhere.
Still on pain killers. Not sleeping too well at the mo. I seem to get this numbness/pins and needles
which I did not before I started RTX last Oct.
Work is quite horrid and lots of stress with 'sales' targets.
I have a new pain this past couple weeks . Best to describe as a pain under my left shoulder blade
which travels through to my left breast. It is really quite painful. Not sure what it could be , unless
another RA pain ? Any one else had this ?
Hope everyone is ok it is very quiet on this forum site at the moment.
Rose x
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 1/29/2010 Posts: 264
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Sorry to hear things aren't great Rose, that's no fun when you are also trying to meet work targets. As to the shoulderblade pain, yes I've had similar in the past and it seemed to go right through to my sternum, thinking back though lasted about 2 weeks and went away gradually.
I hope there are some other treatment options for you after the rituximab. Is the cough any better?
Best wishes
Sheila
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 9/3/2011 Posts: 717 Location: Torbay
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Rose, I was wondering if I have a similar pain to you. Mine starts at the proximal end of the collar bone and emanates from there. I think it's the sternoclavicular joint (looked it up on a body map). It comes and goes and is at it's worst when I lean back, for example sitting up in bed or relaxing in an arm chair. I can honestly say it's the worst of my RA pain and it feels like the whole shoulder is dislocating or something. During flares it can have me actually yelping in pain. I'm not sure if it's the same as you but it sounds similar. Best wishes from Naomi.
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 2/18/2010 Posts: 1,098 Location: farningham kent
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Thanks for the update Rose.
I gather your nurse feels the Rtx. it is working just needs time to work a bit better for you, do you are or you able to take mtx. with the Rtx as I changed over to injections after about six months on Cimzia and noticed a significant improvement from the tablet form ( at present on 20mg).
Take care Julia x
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/6/2009 Posts: 177
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Hi Rose
I have only just caught up with this post. I haven't been on much lately so that's probably why.
I am really sory that you have been having such a tough time. Having a fall really knocks your confidence and life at work sounds terrible for you.
I have also been having the same pain that you mention and mine lasted about 10 days so i hope you will get some relief soon.
Love Shirley x
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